Christmas 2016

Merry Christmas from my family to yours!

How did you celebrate the holiday? Our Christmas was loaded with traditions and was just wonderful. On Christmas Eve, we went to church to see BigL perform in the nativity play. He was Joseph and did a great job. We then spend Christmas Eve with my SIL and her family, which was just wonderful.

On Christmas Day, we got together with my part of the family, which included good food, more presents and happy kids.

Today, we decided to stay in our PJs (the kids) and do just NOTHING. We played with new toys, had a game of Monopoly and ate a box of fine chocolates. Then, I decided to kick out the tree as it lost loads and loads of needles. It made me crazy. And then I thought if I brought the boxes for the ornaments upstairs, I could also get rid of all the other Christmas stuff. So, we are done with Christmas. Everything is stored away in the basement, the f***ing tree is on the porch, I predict, it will stay there until we start spring cleaning in three months or so.

Christmas is done, now I can officially start planning New Years Eve. We are having friends over, which will be so much fun. I am really loooking forward to it. What are your plans?

In my part of the woods

Hey everybody,

what's going on in your part of the world? In my part, a terrorist attack happened. On a Christmas market. A lovely tradition of Christians to celebrate the season. To be honest, I am not shocked. We have seen this coming, right? It was just a question of when this will happen. And last night it did.

I am shocked about how the right wing politicians use this for propaganda. I am shocked about the hatred that people show against refugees. I am shocked about how our chancelor Angela Merkel is attacked. I am with her. All the way. She is not to blame. The refugees are not to blame. The muslims are not to blame. There is only one person to blame. That idiot who drove that truck. Period.

Am I afraid? Nope. Not a bit. I am mad as hell. But my reaction will be more love, more laughter and more tolerance. I will not stop going to christmas markets. I will not stop dancing and singing at festivals. I will go on living my wonderful life in a free world.

I won't let those motherfuckers control my life. They wont get my life. Never ever. I have a responsibility for my kids and I will do everything to protect them, but I cannot make them stop living as well. I remember, when I was a teen in the Nineties and made trips to London like twice a year. The IRA was pretty active these days and my mom always prayed for me to come back safe and sound. She didn't want me to go, but at the same time, she couldn't make me stop living my teenage years. It was the right thing to let me go.

Terrorist attacks are a risk we are living with these days. We have to accept that and keep on fighting for what we believe in. Freedom, peace and love. Spread the love. Be humble and kind. Fill this world with your sparkle and laughter. This is what I will do. Join me!

Love, Sanna

My New Life

Sorry for not posting earlier, but I had to handle my new job and life and everything that comes with it.

First of all, we celebrated Big L's birthday on the last day of November and he turned ubelievable ELEVEN years old. Just two more years until the teens. I cannot believe it. Time really flies. It was a great day with cake and gifts and balloons. Just perfect.

A day later my new/old job started. I expected anxiety and everything that comes with it, but nothing happened. Just nothing. Surprisingly, I had no problems getting up in the middle of the night and everything went smoothly, so I had a good first day. My class is very nice and willing to learn, they make it easy for me. It took like five minutes to be back in teaching mode and from the very first second, it felt like I have never been away. I am so blessed to be healthy. It's too good to be true and it makes my heart burst with gratitude and joy.

We are also getting prepared for the holidays. The decorations are up and so will the tree this weekend. I am really looking forward to blaring Christmas music while we sip punsch and decorate the tree. it's so much fun. Unfortunately, we only have space for a small tree and Little L already informed me that he wants a big one such as everybody else. Uhm, nope.

My new life after PPD really is wonderful and I couldn't be happier. I am thinking about the last years' Christmasses a lot lately. I remember four years ago, when I was so very sick that I spend the day with my parents, who tried to keep me from killing myself. A year later, I was still sick and spend Christmas Eve at the clinic. Big bummer. Another year later, I was just released from the clinic and it was hard, but I made it. Last year, I was back to life. It was wonderful and merry and we actually celebrate the 1-year-anniversary this month of me being symptomfree. I think a lot about those who suffer on Christmas. i think about those in the psychiatric ICU. How desperate and lonely they must feel. I think about those for whom the days of Christmas are the worst days of their year. Christmas can be wonderful and bright, but it can also be the hardest time ever. I know, cause I've been there. I know, because I haven't celebrated Christmas with my small boy the first two years of his life.

Please do me a favor. If you know someone for whom the Christmas days are hard, make it better for them. Send a card or give a hug or say a prayer. So will I.

Merry Christmas!

Back on track

Remember my last post about how hectic and stressful life is at the moment in our home? Well, it was too much for my depressive self.

The last weeks were packed and our weekend was full of activities from morning till night, so when first depressive symptoms showed up, I gave my long shift this week to a colleague and got myself some rest. I did the housework without a hurry and just what had to be done. I took long naps, finished my second Christmas book and spent time with the kids at home. We had cookies and tea and watched TV or read Christmas books. It was lovely. And just what my restless soul needed. It took two days and all symptoms were gone.

I am lucky to have this "control system" within me. My body shows me when it's enough. I am forced to take breaks and rest my soul. It is imprtant for everybody, including you. We need time to re-energize. We need the time to do lovely things or just hang around home and take naps. It's so important and we should remember to do so, even now before Christmas.

Most of you are having a hell of a week, I guess, with Thanksgiving coming up. Take time to rest. Put up your feet and watch a lovely holiday movie. I will do so more often. So should you.

Happy Thanksgiving! Love, Sanna

Supermom

Life has been chaotic and hectic around our home and I am not happy about it. The kids both caught a cold, but they are dealing with it very differently. Little L is just his happy self, while Big L is suffering big time. He even had to be picked up at school yesterday. (I think, he wanted a day off, because at home he was fine.)

I am working crazy hours and much more than I usually do, like every single day. It sucks. I am so hapy, when I am back to teaching and doing my 15 lessons/week. There's a schedule and no more swapping shifts and coming in on short notice, because someone is sick or stuff like that. Plus, I will be off all weekends. Lovely. I am going to see my new (old) boss next week to talk over the details of the paper work. And I will meet my co-teacher, who is a retired professor. That will be interesting. He will be teaching two days, I will be doing three days a week. But I am the tutor of the class, which means a bit more work at home, but I don't care.

Apart from that, there's the usual business like swimming class, sports and parent conference day. I am really excited for that, cause Big L has changed schools this summer and I really wanna know how he is doing. I am pretty astonished about how much more learning we have to do now at the new school. Especially his English teacher is so strict and giving loads of homework and vocabulary to learn. I sometimes wonder how the other kids are dealing with that. It takes a lot of time and effort to keep up with vocab and grammar.

So, long story short...I hardly find time to blog or read. The Christmas Reading Challenge and me did not have a good start this year. The first book was a bummer. The second started out pretty good, but with all the craziness around, I just managed to read twenty pages or so. I'll keep you updated on that.

Have a nice day! Love, Sanna

Farewell

I saw the cranes moving South today. I know they are on their way for some time now, but it was the first time this fall I saw them. It means that winter is coming and that makes me a bit wistful. We had such a good summer and I am sad to see it go for good.

It was the summer, when I had NO symptoms of depression. The summer I became 100% healthy. Fact is, that I feel good for about a year now, but that feeling of being me again, a hundred percent, just came during the last six months. Everything that makes me unique is back. I really feel like my old self and -surprise- better than ever before. I have learned so much about me and my way of life. I have changed. I came out of this stronger, more positive and so full of love.

It was the summer I danced at the music festival, the summer I dipped my toes into the North Sea and the summer I felt the joy of being alive. Honestly, it's so good to be alive! And there I thought I'd never say that again.

And then came fall with beautiful weather and the leaves popping bright with colours. It was the time for fall walks and late summer/fall BBQs. Our fall included a visit at the pumpkin patch and our living room make over. In the evenings, candles are lightning up our home and tea and cookies are served.

I am sad to see all this go. The garden furniture is stored away. The leaves are falling and have to be swept. The cars are prepared for winter.We are wearing winter coats and boots. There is no denying, winter is around the corner.

But then, it is also a lovely time of year. We have a lot of family birthdays from November until January, so it is a time of celebrating the life of loved ones for us. It is the time of Sankt Martin (today!) and then Christmas is coming. I love the twinkling Christmas lights and curling up on the couch with a good Christmas movie. New Year's Eve is special and I am already planning on decorations and my outfit will be spectacular this year. Stay tuned! A lot of loveliness is coming up!

It's beginning...

...to look a lot like Christmas!

I am just waiting for the first Christmas TV commercial to appear. They are late this year. ;o)

picture found at weheartit.com

I have done the first shoping for gifts and the wrapping paper is ready to turn these gifts into beautiful little packages. I have plans for the advent decoration and everything is shopped for the kids' advent calender. Only three more weeks until the first of advent, you know.

I also started to check ot New year's Eve decorations. Yes, I am crazy like that. I am planning on making it all black and gold, just beautiful and classy. We are not big with celebrating NYE, but I want our little get together be special.

Maybe you got it, maybe not. But I just love the holidays! It's a time of coziness and family get togethers, the time of secrets and I love to dress up and get to wear lovely dresses and my NYE crown. I really am into that special time of year. I will go ahead and show you some of my favorite books for the holidays these next weeks, because this has to be shared. Also, I will keep you updated on decorations and baking and stuff.

Stay tuned! Love, Christmas-crazy-Sanna

P.S. The red cups will be back in three days!!