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Montag, 10. Dezember 2018

Slow down

Last week was full of appointments and stuff and I really felt like we had to slow down before Christmas madness starts. So, we used the weekend for a few errands, bought the tree and apart from that did basically nothing.

Saturday morning, we piled up in the car to do stuff that has to be done. Buy water and juice (still on crutches, so I can only do it with DH driving and carrying), buy the perfect Christmas tree, do some random shopping. In the late afternoon we celebrated BigL's birthday with his friends at the jump park, which was fun for the kids. Not so much for me. It is super boring at the jump park, when you are the only one on crutches.

Sunday started slow with sleeping in and breakfast at 11am. We listened to Christmas music, decorated the tree, had a nice afternoon nap and met at the in-laws for winter bbq. Just perfect.


This week, we do not have any appointments or places to be. None. Apart from the weekly stuff like track and field training and swimming class. It means we can build a gingerbread house, craft, watch Christmas movies and just be hygge. I love this time of year, when the lights sparkle and candles are lit. Our home smells so good like orange and cookies and punsch. And everything is just a bit brighter and cozy.

Make sure to slow down in these days of hurry and thousands of things to organize. It helps a lot to feel the season, to be merry and focus on what Christmas is all about.

Love and hugs, Sanna

Montag, 3. Dezember 2018

About motherhood. And comparison.

Hey moms out there! Yes, you!

How do you feel about mothering? Do you feel full of self-confidence concerning your abilities to raise tiny humans or do you doubt from time to time?

Me, I am of the second category. Sometimes I compare my mothering abilities to other moms and feel like a big fat failure. I wonder how other moms handle tantrums, teenagers and the fight about screen time and treats.

And then I wonder, if I am doing it right. Do my kids get too much screen time? Do we learn enough for school and exams? Should I do more of this or that and do my kids know how much we love them? Do we tell and show them enough?

I really think it is good and healthy to reflect and sometimes look around for inspiration or just to talk about how others handle stuff. The problem is, it often is more than that to me. It makes me feel insecure and less valueable as a mother. Why is that?

I think, this is something that occured post PPD. I had to re-learn how to mother, every little thing was new to me although I already had a seven-year-old. So what PPD left me with was doubt into my own abilities. Big time. It's getting better, but from time to time it gets me. And then I feel sad and I wanna sob a little and after that life goes on and I try to give my best. Every day.

Please feel free to give some input. I know ther are so many moms out there reading my blog. Am I the only one with these weird feelings? Do you compare yourself as a mother or your kids with others? Or not? Help me out here.

Love, Sanna

Mittwoch, 14. November 2018

Long time no see

Wow, over a month since my last post. How could that've happened? Simple answer: Life happened.

Sometimes, I am just busy. Other times, stuff happens that I cannot control, so it forces me to be abscent for some time. This month so far was an up and down journey healthwise for me.

First of all, I got the news, that my fracture is not healing properly. So I am on crutches now and I really, really hope this works. Then, I had another issue coming up and had surgery on Friday. The days before that I was running a fever and feeling just like shit. As I am writing this, I am healing fine and doing good. Apart from my leg, but that just takes time and patience.

So, here I am. It's mid-November and I got Christmas on my mind. First orders of gifts are on their way (or already in my wardrobe) and I started making lists today. Gift lists, lists of people who will receive cards, lists of what to cook when and what to buy. Plus, my calendar is filling with Christmas celebrations and other stuff. I am really looking forward to the season as I love the lights and the festivity that comes with it.

Found at weheartit.com
I can hardly wait to bring out the decorations and start playing Christmas music. I'd really love to do so right now, but nope. Not before the end of November. I also have plans to sew stockings for the four of us, but cannot find my Christmas sewing book. I will have to take another look for it.

What about you? Are you already in the mood for Christmas?

Love, Sanna

Donnerstag, 27. September 2018

Today, I failed.

Today, I failed as a mother. Big time. I yelled. A lot. I was unfair. Again, a lot. There were a lot of different reasons why this happened and still I feel like a big fat failure. Which I was. Today.


The day started with LittleL throwing a tantrum, because he didn't want to have breakfast (I am not hungry, mummy.), but then when breakfast was over, he wanted to have breakfast. Then, on my way to work, my brandnew jeans ripped. And showed my old pink and green underwear. Unfortunately, time was too tight to go back and change pants, so I was the teacher with ripped jeans before school even started, awesome. After lessons, I went to go to the office to get the papers done for my September salary. Nobody's in the office today, don't ask me why. I am off on Fridays and next week the whole office doesn't work because it is moving to a new computer system. So salary won't come before October, 8th. Again, awesome.

Because of all this, I had to pick up LittleL from school on my way home from work. I usually park the car at home and walk the ten minutes to school. Today, I didn't have the time, so I went to school by car. It was chaos. Lots of moms with cars, no parking space. I was late. When we came home BigL complained about lunch being delayed. And then he didn't like lunch. And then he liked it, but in the meantime LittleL and I had eaten it all.

Then we did homework. LittleL thought homework was super boring and he didn't want to do it. It took forever (he usually is done in ten minutes). Then my MIL came over as she does every Thursday. And she usually is a big help, but today I just felt like suggling up on the sofa. The kids fought over every single shit. BigL has a potty mouth and then told me that last year on Christmas all his gifts were "rubbish". I freaked out big time. (He got a MacBook for Christmas) Meanwhile, LittleL asked for screen time for the 100th time. And for a treat, again for the 100th time. BigL watched drum learning lessons on YouTube on our TV (very loud), LittleL asked me strange questions about Star Wars, which I never watched. I told him so, he kept on asking. On top of all this, we had to learn for BigL's math and English tests.

I did not have a minute for myself today, which never is  a good thing. I need some time to recharge my batteries, at least thirty minutes a day. To take a power nap, read some pages, whatever I feel like. Some minutes of SILENCE, for God's sake! It keeps me sane in all our chaos of school, work and just everyday life.

Today I missed it and it paid. Yes, the kids did not show their best behaviour. Yes, they were testing and impolite. Still, they do no deserve yelling and telling them to "Just shut up!". It is not fair and I know it. But these days happen. For all of us. It's no fun, it's far away from Instagram perfectness, but it's reality.

All I can do now is kiss my children goodnight. And try to make it better tomorrow. This I will do.

Good night, peeps!

Love, Sanna

Sonntag, 23. September 2018

25 reasons...

...why fall is just the best!

1. Crunchy leaves
2. All the colours
3. Jeans and boots
4. Fresh apples from the tree
5. Candles and books
6. Pumpkin spice latte
7. Pumpkin spice everything. Period.
8. Carving pumpkins
9. Family movie nights
10. Blankets and coffee
11. The smell of cinnamon
12. Sunday afternoon naps
13. Hot soups on rainy days
14. Ankle boots
15. Loads and loads of books
16. October
17. Going to th pumpkin patch
18. Hot tea
19. Baking treats and pies
20. Halloween
21. Hot apple cider
22. Crafting and sewing
23. Fall decorations
24. Pumpkin pie
25. All of the above.

Love, Sanna


Dienstag, 28. August 2018

The best mom award

Sometimes I post stuff on facebook or Instagram with the hashtag #bestmomaward . Usually after telling the world wide web some mom failure, that happened to me. Like these:

  • The time I forgot LittleL was going on a field trip and brought him to kindergarten. Then I had to put him in the car again and follow the bus. It was a great moment when I stopped the bus to pick up my kid. Yeah, super mom.
  • The time I forgot to sign BigL up for a track and field competition and then lied to the officials that our plans have changed last minute and can they please let my kid take place (they could not.).
  • The time I found out that BigL's sports shoes were three numbers too small and he could barely walk during PE.
  • The time I took LittleL's lunch to work with me. I had two lunchboxes (mine and his), he had none.
  • The time I had to transport stuff home from IKEA and just put it on the back seat next to BigL. In the first bend, it moved and hurt his eye. He had a black eye for days. (Never happened again. I now ALWAYS make sure stuff is secured!!)
  • The time we forgot to buy school supplies and then had to do it on the last day of summer break. (Just FYI, school starts tommorow. I am picking up books today.)
So, somtimes, I feel like a big, fat failure as a mom. There is stuff going wrong, I forget papers or books and sometimes we hurt our children without intention. I always am so sorry and try to make up for it, but these things happen. 

They do not mean, that I don't care or love my kids. They just mean that I am human. Busy with a job and handling two kids and appointments and housework. It means, that sometimes this job is overwhelming and you just cannot keep everything in your head. It means, that maybe you forgot to pick up books, because you were busy crafting or playing with your kids. Maybe you had a bad day at work or a headache or PMS. Whatever might have lead to a mom failure, it does not say anything about how much you love your kids or how good a mom you are.

You (and me!) are doing a great job. Your kids are fed, wear warm clothes, get haircuts and get cuddles and love. You are doing everything right. Failures happen. And believe me, EVERY mom makes mistakes, forgets stuff and is NOT PERFECT. Even if some look like they do.

Have a great day! And yeah to all moms!

Love, Sanna

Found at weheartit.com

Sonntag, 26. August 2018

The last few days...

Summer break is over soon. BigL is going back to school on Wednesday, first grade will start on Thursday for LittleL.

We do celebrate first day of first grade over here, so I got decoration and cakes on my mind. Plus, LittleL developed some anxiety over his first days at schoo and we really try to help him with that. I do understand though. Wouldn't we all be nervous before a major change??


There are no real plans for the last two days of summer break. Apart from Wednesday evening, when the firstgraders and families will meet at church to get blessings for the coming school year. I am really looking forward to it and I can need any blessings out there.

It will not only be a change for the LittleL, but for me, too. Until summer break, LittleL was a daycare/kindergarten until 4pm. Now, I will have to pick him up at 1.30pm. This usually was the time I had with BigL for lunch, homework, learning and just spend some time together. Or me having a nap. From Thursday on, it will be the three of us. Homework with two kids. Learning with two kids. Not sure about how there will be room for naps. Oh my.

I am looking forward to this new chapter. At the same time, I am wondering how it all will work out.
The school (both schools, actually) are just down the road (with one busy street to cross) and I want LittleL to get confident and safe in traffic, so he can walk to school on his own sometime at the end of the year. It will save time, because I don't have to drive to daycare anymore. It means ten more minutes of sleep. Heaven! (Or a silent cuppa in the wee hours of morning!)

To everybody out there heading a new school year, be blessed. Have fun along the way. Be patient and successful. Work hard and be ambitious. It will be a great year!

All my love, Sanna