Samstag, 18. März 2017

Reading again

It's been over four years that Amazon did deliver a books to my doorstep. Before I got sick with PPD, I was obsessed with books. I read romance in every free minute. Any kind of romance. Paranormal, suspense, historical. As long as there was kissing involved, it was my kind of book. Same goes for Chick Lit, which my anglophile self just loved.

Then I got sick and with it came agitation and the loss of concentration. Plus, I felt like this happily-ever-after-girl was not me anymore. My life was full of pain and surviving day by day, so romance didn't seem to fit.

Over the last four years, I did a bit of reading. Mostly within the last year. I read a bit during summer break and afterwards. I tried to read a Christmas novel, but it didn't work for me.

For all this time a book was on my nightstand waiting for me to be ready. It was Maya Banks' Shades Of Gray, book 7 of the KGI series. A series, which I loved so much. Still, I coudn't make myself read it.

About two weeks ago, I finally picked up the book. And started reading. And then it all started. I felt the magic of different worlds swept over me. I read and read (and while reading realized, I've read this book before) and just couldn't put my book down. I spent my afternoons curled up on the couch, sipped coffee and fell in love with P.J. and Cole's story. When I was done, I picked up the next book of the series and read it within days. Then I browsed Amazon for more titles and put an order.

And just like that, I am back to reading. Not just some pages, but like I did before. Reading way too long at night, because I just can't stop. Living within the story and being in tears and laughter. Feeling with the characters every step of the way and being totally satisfied when they say their I love yous in the end.

It is a gift to be able to really live within the story. To be sad and happy and excited as you read. It is a gift that was hidden under depression, but fought it's way back up to life. Just like everything else, it came back to me. It took time and patience, but it came back. And I am so grateful for that.

Now excuse me, I have a date with my couch and a romance. Happy reading, everybody!

Sonntag, 12. Februar 2017


Today was fabulous. I came home late last night from a party and woke up around nine a.m. which is pretty early for me on a weekend. No idea why, but I felt so full of energy and wanted to egt stuff done, so after snuggling with DH and Little L, I got up and jumped into the shower. We had breakfast and then DH and me cleaned the place and I tackled piles of laundry.

We met with our neighbour and her daughter (Little L's best friend) and went for a walk, which included ice cream some quality time on the playground. The sun was shining, but we didn't stay too long, because the wind was pretty chilly. I am so looking forward to this week, because temperatures are supposed to be around 13°C with lots of sunshine.

When we came home the kids went to see friends in the neigbourhood and DH and me cleaned out our living room drawer. Fun times. After that, we parked our butts on the couch.

It was a great weekend. Fun and relaxing. The right amount of busy and enough time to recharge the batteries. I am heading into this new week with excitement. My class is having their first exams on Monday and Tuesday. Keep your fingers crossed.

Have a great week! Love, Sanna

Mittwoch, 1. Februar 2017

I love my life

On Saturday, I turned 39. For the first time ever in my life I was freaking out about my age. Big time.

39 is so close to 40 and people, who are forty are pretty old for me. Too old, if you ask me. 40-year-old moms are embarassing and so not cool. They look old, they act old. Period.

Now, in under a year, I will join that club. How can that possibly be real? I just turned twenty, right? At least I feel as if I am still super young at heart. But then, I am raising a pre-teen. I developed wrinkles around my eyes and I have serious problems crouching down like HRH Kate does. (And she's doing this in heels with a baby on her hip. Amazing.)

But fact is, I am still alive. I was so close to giving up life, that every day is a gift and I intend to live it fully. So many young women die of cancer or other fucking shit, so I am grateful for the chance to see my 40th birthday. I am grateful for being able to support my children while growing up and to see them become wondeerful young people. I am grateful for spending day after day with my husband, who is the best partner, I could possibly have.

Getting older is not just a pain in the a$$. It also is a chance. To experience and see great things. It's a chance to become the erson I want to be, more and more with each day.

Never before I have I been so happy with my life. Or let me wuote Robbie Williams...

I love my life
I am powerful
I am beautiful
I am free
I love my life
I am wonderful
I am magical
I am me
I love my life

Yes, I do. I love my life. And everything that comes with it. Have a great day everybody!

Mittwoch, 18. Januar 2017

Deal with me

So, here we are back to business. Every day life is back and I like it a lot. It brings some regularity into our life and that's a good thing. Although this week started kind of irregular, with Little L staying at home because of a fever and Big L jumping out of bed on Monday morning and hurting his ankle. So instead of work, I went to the doctor with him at 7.45am. It was still dark outside. Oh my.

My pupils were understanding about a day off, so that was not a problem. I really have a nice class and it makes me sick to my stomach to hear all this negativity and right wind paroles about refugees and immigrants. I deal with these people every day and 99% of them are friendly, hard working humans, who just want to live in peace with their families in our country. Most of them plan to go back when the time comes and they are so sad that they had to leave their countries. They are homesick and suffer from PTSD.

And honestly, I will not stop talking against right wing comments. I will open my mouth and speak up and let those idiots know what I think of them. The most hypocrit sentence is "I don't have anything against migration, BUT..." That little word BUT means that, yes indeed you have something against immigrants. So, please tell me, how many immigrants/refugees do you know? To how many did you talk?

I have seen hundreds in the last 14 years. And all I see on a daily basis are HUMANS. With a history, with anxiety and depression, because they have lived in danger of their lives for too long.

Okay, I am no idiot. Of course a open border politics invites idiots as well. But do you really think that a terrorist will be stopped from doing harm by a border? What about 9/11 or the London bombings? This happened before the refugees came to Europe and they found a way. They will always find a way.

So, yes, you have a right a free thinking and free speech. Do so. But be prepared to deal with me. I will talk against any kind of right propaganda. I will never accept a politics and thinking that is based on ethnic selection. Not in this life.

Now go and have a great day. Love, Sanna

Sonntag, 8. Januar 2017

One week into 2017 and Christmas break ends tomorrow. It was such a good time with family and friends and good food and celebrations.

Christmas is over, New Year's Eve is over and all we are left with is January. Cold, icy and grey. I am not a fan. I miss the sparkling lights of Christmas and the feeling of something special in the air. I miss dressing up for special occasions and wearing full make-up with glitter and all.

But I am really looking forward to getting some schedule back. Being lazy and all is fine, but I need some structure in my life. Not only me, the kids as well. So I am really looking forward to going back to work tomorrow. I am not happy about the getting up at the crack of dawn part, but what the heck. It's part of the deal. I just hope my pupils didn't reset their brains over the holidays, that would kind of freak me out.

Anyway, we will try to make January special with lots of hot chocolate and crafts and good movies. Little L's swimming class starts again tomorrow, so does BigL's track and field practice. We will be back to our busy schedule in no time and I am looking forward to it.

Here is my favorite Sunday song. Have a great week! Love, Sanna

Freitag, 30. Dezember 2016

Farewell 2016

I understand why people think that 2016 totally sucked. David Bowie, George Michael and Alan Rickman went to heaven. So did various other celebrities and it's a shame. Then Donald Trump got elected president of the United States. Big bummer. Some days before Christmas a terrorist attack hit Berlin. Thousands are starving in Aleppo. Life is a bitch these days. And we are right there to live it.

But for me, personally, this year has been just the best. It was the year of NO symptoms, none at all. It was the year I went back to teaching and earning some grand bucks. It was a normal year, with ups and downs, okay. But normal is just wonderful.

Some other highlights of my year:

In January, we celebrated my birthday with a birthday breakfast in our favorite café.
In February, we celebrated carnival and the kid enjoyed their confetti guns. (I am not a big fan of February though.)
In March, we celebrated Easter with family and went to the traditional Easter carnival.
In April, my German blog had its comeback and we cheered on BigL at the track and field competition.

In May, it got warm and we brought out the pool, had lots of ice cream and wore flipflops.
In June, summer kicked in full forced and we enjoyed days on the porch, fun at the pool and the smell of sunscreen.

In July, summer break started and we headed to the Dutch coast for our annual summer getaway.
In August, DH and me went to the summer festival to see my muical love Milow perform. It was super hot and we sang and danced along and had to drink loads of water.

In September, BigL started his new school, which was pretty exciting. Also, summer came back with high temperatures and we had many BBQs before summer came to an end. AND Little L turned
unbelievable four years old!!!
In October, we enjoyed lots of early fall sunshine and spend a lot of time in our garden, because the weather was just so nice.
In November, we celebrated St.Martin's day and BigL's eleventh birthday. Eleven!!

 In December, the days got so short, but were filled with twinkling Christmas lights and candles. We ate way too much candy, had a great Christmas and are looking into the New Year with hope and love.

Have a great New Year's Eve, everybody and a happy new year! Love from my family to yours, Sanna

Montag, 26. Dezember 2016

Christmas 2016

Merry Christmas from my family to yours!

How did you celebrate the holiday? Our Christmas was loaded with traditions and was just wonderful. On Christmas Eve, we went to church to see BigL perform in the nativity play. He was Joseph and did a great job. We then spend Christmas Eve with my SIL and her family, which was just wonderful.

On Christmas Day, we got together with my part of the family, which included good food, more presents and happy kids.

Today, we decided to stay in our PJs (the kids) and do just NOTHING. We played with new toys, had a game of Monopoly and ate a box of fine chocolates. Then, I decided to kick out the tree as it lost loads and loads of needles. It made me crazy. And then I thought if I brought the boxes for the ornaments upstairs, I could also get rid of all the other Christmas stuff. So, we are done with Christmas. Everything is stored away in the basement, the f***ing tree is on the porch, I predict, it will stay there until we start spring cleaning in three months or so.

Christmas is done, now I can officially start planning New Years Eve. We are having friends over, which will be so much fun. I am really loooking forward to it. What are your plans?